Boston Women's Aid

Safety Planning

Safety whilst living with violence

• If possible try to get to a room or area that you can exit from, avoid the kitchen as this has many potential weapons, avoid the stairs as it is easy to fall or be pushed on stairs.

• Don't run to where your children are as your partner may harm them as well.

• Practice ways you and your children can leave your home safely and in the dark.

• Discuss with your children what they need to do during an incident:

  • Not to intervene

  • To get out and get help

  • Teach them how to call the police and a safe family member / friend.

Pack a bag and leave it with a safe trusted friend/family member or neighbour include in it:

• Identification for you and the children; passports, birth certificates, national insurance card/number

• Health records & NHS cards

• Medication – your doctor will prescribe extra essential medication if you explain the circumstances to them – they have to maintain your confidentiality.

• Spare keys for the house and car if possible.

• Copies of any orders you have in place.

• Some money and bank account details.

• A copy of the tenancy agreement if you have one.

• Jewellery

• Address book.

• A set of clothes for you and the children.

Other considerations

• Leave any sentimental items photo's etc with a trusted friend or family member – but do not remove anything that he will notice or question.

• Keep your mobile phone charged and with you at all times even if you have no credit on it, 999 calls are free.

• If possible identify a neighbour you can tell about the violence and who will call the police if they hear a disturbance.

• Make sure your children's school/nursery know who is authorised to pick them up.

• If you work make sure someone at work knows your situation.

• Keep a copy of any court orders with you.

• Keep a record of incidents, including: time, date, what happened, witnesses, photos if any injuries and the names and collar numbers of any police officers if applicable.  Keep this record with a trusted friend or family member.

• Learn defensive tactics.  Learn how to position your body to reduce damage – dive into a corner, curl into a ball, protect your face with your arms each side of your head fingers intertwined.

• Do whatever you need to, to buy time/space, to diffuse the situation and protect yourself and your children.