Boston Women's Aid

Boston Refuge exists for the benefit of all women, with or without children, who are experiencing domestic abuse which prevents them from living safely in their own home.

The Refuge is a safe house where a women and her children, if she has them, can stay for as long as they need to away from oppression and danger. It is where she can share her experiences with other women who know how it feels and get much needed support from the staff and other residents.

Boston Refuge offers a breathing space where decisions about the future can be made free from pressure and fear. It is home for women and children while they are staying with us and it is the place where they rediscover their self-esteem and independence.

The workers based at the Refuge provide a listening ear, information on benefits, legal rights, housing, etc., practical help and emotional support for the women. There are also specialist Child Support Workers to help the children.

What is a "refuge" ?

"Refuge" is a safe house where women who are experiencing domestic abuse can live free from abuse. If you have children, you can take them with you. Most refuge addresses are confidential. There are over 250 refuges in England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland - you can choose to travel as far away from, or stay as near to your home town as you wish. Some refuges have space for many women and children, and some are small houses.

Some of the accommodation is specifically for women from particular ethnic or cultural backgrounds - for example Black, Asian or South American women - and some have disabled access and workers who can assist women and children who have special needs.

Some of our rooms are self-contained family units and most accommodation will usually give you your own room for yourself, plus one for your children and a bathroom and kitchenette. The other spaces - the living room, communal kitchen, playroom and laundry - will be shared with other residents. You will be expected to cook for yourself and your children, keep your unit cleaned and share the cleaning of the shared areas. It is up to you and the other residents whether or not you share cooking or eat together at mealtimes.

Our refuge has a own code of conduct regarding the day-to-day running of the house which will usually cover things like bedtimes for children, incoming telephone calls and rotas for using the washing machine.

You can be as self-contained or as sociable as you want to be.

Who can go into a refuge?
Any woman who needs to, whether married or single, with or without children, at any time.

How do I arrange refuge accommodation?
You can contact your local Women's Aid group. You can also contact Women's Aid through the police and social services.

What can I take with me to the refuge accommodation?
As a guide, remember to take with you to the temporary accommodation:

Identification
Birth Certificates for you and your children
School and medical records, including the telephone numbers of the school and your GP or surgery
Money, bankbooks, cheque book and credit cards
Keys - house, car, office
Driving Licence and car registration documents
Prescribed medication and vitamin supplements
Welfare Benefit identification and your child allowance book
Passports, visas and work permits
Mortgage details or lease and rental agreements
Current unpaid bills
Insurance documents
Address book
Family photographs, your diary, jewellery, small items of sentimental value
Your children's favourite items of clothing and small toys
Toiletries and clothes for you and your children

Not all women will need all of these items, and there may be some items that you would need to take that have not been included in this list, but this is a general guide.

What can't I take with me to the temporary accommodation?
You will not be able to take large items such as furniture with you to the temporary accommodation. Also, temporary accommodations cannot take house pets. Some temporary accommodations are equipped to accommodate small animals such as fish, mice and other caged pets. Additionally, some temporary accommodations have arrangements with local pet fostering schemes. Ask your local women's aid group for more information.

What about confidentiality in the temporary accommodation?
Women's Aid understands how determined abusive men can be so we take safety and confidentiality very seriously. You and your children are assured that any information you give will not be discussed outside Women's Aid without your consent except in the following situation. If Women's Aid workers are concerned that a child may be at risk we have a duty of care to the child to pass on our concerns. However, this would not be done without discussing it first with the child's mother wherever possible.

Also, for the safety of all women and children the address of the temporary accommodation must be kept confidential. It must not be given to anyone unless agreed by Women's Aid. You must also respect the confidentiality of the other women and children in the temporary accommodation and never tell anyone that they are or were in temporary accommodation.

An essential rule is that no men are allowed to know the temporary accommodation address or non-public telephone number, and are NEVER allowed in our accommodation. This includes not only partners, but relatives, friends and new partners. This is essential for the safety of everyone and is a reason for being asked to leave if it is not kept to.